Rin's Sadness
by kiasne
Summary: This is based off a headcanon that Rin has no self esteem and has a different side to her when no one is around. Quite a bit of OOC Rin. RinMaki fluff to come, probably. I'm sorry.


**Hello! Here's another RinMaki story for you all. Now, before you say anything, I realise that the way I've written Rin is a lot different from how she acts on the show. It's quite out of character, so if you don't like that, I'm sorry. However, I was writing this whilst thinking about my headcanon that Rin has horrible self esteem, even after her development in her character episode. I probably went a little overboard, but I hope that it makes for a decent story nonetheless. Please try to enjoy!**

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><p>Looking in the mirror, Rin frowned. She was unsure as to whether she was dressed appropriately for this 'date' with Maki. It was just shopping, but Rin had decided she was going to do all she could in order for it to be as perfect as she'd dreamed.<p>

She was wearing her pink dress with the white collar and some lace up trainers. Collapsing onto her bed, Rin let her mind wander about her current relationship with Maki.

They had both confessed to each other a few days ago but neither were sure if they were actually dating. It was confusing to Rin, she didn't really know how to define 'dating' but she was sure Maki would never like her as much as she like Maki.

Ugh, there it was. The horrible lack of self esteem that Rin had learned to hide from everyone. Why did it have to surface now, of all times?

Rin rolled onto her side and looked at her phone to check the time. It was already 10:20. She was supposed to meet Maki at the station at 10:00.

Groaning, she sat up. She had best get going before Maki decides she's not worth waiting for. Before stepping out the door, Rin had grabbed a gift she was planning on giving Maki, not sure whether she would actually get the chance to give it to her, but deciding that it was better to have it with her just in case.

As Rin ran past the houses down her street, she felt her phone buzzing in her hand. With a sigh, she answered it reluctantly, waiting for the oncoming lecture about being late.

"Rin?" Maki's voice sounded through the speaker.

"Ah, um, Maki-chan. Hello!" Rin spoke, trying to sound like her energetic self.

"Where are yo-"

"I'm sorry! I'm really sorry! I'm on my way!" Rin replied quickly.

"Okay... How far are you? I can meet you halfway if you want?" Maki asked hesitantly, sensing something was wrong.

"No, no" the other girl rejected, shaking her head. "I'll be there as soon as I can."

"Mm, okay. It's not like I was waiting anyway." Maki smirked. "Just, be quick."

Rin hung up the phone, exhausted from running and taking part in that small conversation. Wow, when did socialising become so tiring?

Thinking about it, when did she start feeling like this? It was quite a while ago, although no one would have guessed. Rin prided herself on her cheerful facade.

Maybe she needed to do something about it. Maybe she should ask for some help from her friends. However, she doubted they even liked her anyway. They were probably just pretending because they pitied her.

Approaching the station, the girl stopped running to catch her breath. She'd been doing too much thinking and needed to clear her head. Looking down at her outfit again, Rin sighed deeply.

She had planned to change out of her dress and put on something that suited her more. The dress was just too uncomfortable to wear outside, but there was nothing she could do about it now.

Turning the corner, Rin sneaked a look at Maki. She was wearing a casual black dress and flat shoes. She always looked so pretty, no matter what she was wearing. Being honest with herself for once, Rin was extremely jealous.

As she walked over to Maki, Rin gave herself a mental pep talk, encouraging herself to enjoy the date and think about things afterwards.

"Maki-chan nya!" Rin greeted, bouncing over to the redhead.

"You're late." Maki sighed.

"I know, I know. I'm sorry." the other girl apologised again, feeling her facade falter.

Rin looked at the floor instead of at Maki, she couldn't bear to face her friend in this state.

"Right, um, should we go?" Maki tried, wondering what was wrong with Rin.

"Sure, let's go nya!" Rin beamed, a little too enthusiastically.

Silence fell upon them as they started walking towards the shopping district. This wasn't like one of their normal outings, and Maki had started to suspect there was something wrong.

Maki narrowed her eyes, thinking about what to do. It was unnatural for Rin to be this quiet, especially when they were out of school. She was always happy and loud, and sometimes even annoying so this was very strange indeed.

Feeling the awkward silence become more and more uncomfortable, Maki sighed. She had to do something about this, it wasn't right to stand by while her friend obviously had something on her mind.

"Come on, what's wrong?" Maki asked bluntly, not wanting to waste any more time.

"Nyathing!" Rin smiled, wishing she hadn't been so stupid as to let her feelings slip into the open.

"Seriously Rin, what's up with you today?" the redhead asked again, genuinely concerned and wanting to help.

Rin stopped walking and sighed.

"Listen, Maki." Rin started, attempting to vent but not succeeding. "I'm.. I'm just working through some things in my head right now, so don't mind me."

Maki turned to face Rin and grabbed her by the shoulders, perhaps a little more violently than she intended. She'd had enough of this.

"Stop doing this!" she cried. "I'm here to help, so why can't you just rely on me for once?"

Rin avoided looking at Maki and instead faced the floor, feeling tears come to her eyes.

"I'm sorry Maki-chan, I'm such a failure." Rin sobbed, clenching her fists. "I just don't know what to do any more."

Looking shocked, Maki decided she needed to comfort her friend in some way. Carefully pulling the shorter girl into a hug, Maki stroked Rin's hair gently.

"Sh, it's okay. Everything is going to be okay." Maki soothed, hoping she was helping in some way.

It seemed like their shopping date was going to have to be postponed, at least for the moment...

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><p><strong>Thanks for staying until the end! I'm hoping for this to be multi chaptered but it all depends on my motivation and how busy I am with school. Any and all reviews on how to improve my writing would be useful as even I have noticed some bad habits that I tend to stick with. Thanks!<strong>


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